Kay Hunter - Imagine . . . The Possibilities

Dress for the Body You Are In: CAMOUFLAGE TIPS

Feeling a little fluffy after all the holiday treats? Feeling a little fluffy just because after 40 everything relaxes a bit? Sometimes, fighting to lose those last 10 pounds is just not worth the effort. Now, I am not encouraging people to be unhealthy, but I am encouraging us all to take a realistic view of our situation.
 
Nothing brings more attention to your extra pounds than wearingclothes that are too tight. The law of nature naturally draws our eye to where clothing is pulling and swelling.
 
On the other end of the spectrum, some people want to look larger or taller.  Others want to camouflage a short neck or short legs.  Whether you want to camouflage the 5-10 extra pounds, or simply want to make the most of your inherited body shape (which will never change no matter how many diets you endure), knowledge is power!  It doesn't cost any extra money to select the right clothes for your body.  In fact, it costs less. Follow these tips and you will be able to select clothing that will make you look and feel great!

You may not be the beauty contest winner, but at least you are honest.

by Janae St. John

Misrepresentation is a contract law concept. It means a false statement of fact made by one party to another party, which has the effect of inducing that party into the contract. For example, under certain circumstances, false statements or promises made by a seller of goods regarding the quality or nature of the product that the seller has may constitute misrepresentation.

Alright, it's a bit dramatic and ooooh so serious sounding. But, it remains that when you say you are one way, look a way, or have a certain marital status you are supposed to telling the whole truth.  Otherwise, you are committing a MISREPRESENTATION of yourself. Who could trust you from that point forward?

On your personal appearance:

Perhaps that's the test. If you meet someone you convinced that you were a 180 pound Adonis who has never been married or recently widowed; and upon seeing you for the first time realized you have a Dunlap muffin top belly, memories of hair on the sides of your temples and are still wearing a wedding ring - yet they don't head for the door - you may have met your match!

That's not me; don't even think of trying that. I'll head for the door, let you know you've wasted my time, were deceitful and need to get a grasp on reality. Of course we all share the best photos of ourselves. But, how about a photo of yourself from THIS year - ideally in the past six months?

I went out with a man once. Never knew he wore a toupee. I was young, naive and thought it was fun to go out with my dentist - wrong on so many levels.  We had a wonderful dinner at a local upscale steak house and went back to his place.  We were visiting in his living room when the glue started to drip by the side of his ear.  He must have been nervous as I was asking him about his family - or perhaps when I was telling him about mine.  Noticing his "discomfort" and sweating, I simply asked him, "why?" He had beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile (of course) and didn't need fake hair.  We didn't date again, primarily because I couldn't get over the smell of mouthwash whenever I was near him. But, he did change something after that date; he dumped the toupee and shaved his head. He looked so much better and he held himself straighter with more confidence. I feel that I helped in some small way. We are still friends.

On marital status:

Do you know the definition of widowed? How about divorced vs. separated? The phrase, "it's complicated" does not substitute. Call your status for what it is; you will save everyone’s time. We won't like you more after meeting you when you finally reveal that you are only separated and there is a nasty custody battle. Do you think the memory of the person we thought we'd be meeting will cloud our judgment so much that we'll look deep into your eyes and say it doesn't matter and that we understand, you poor baby...? Tell me you don't believe this. Stop reading, I can't help you.

• Widowed: You were married, the person died. End of definition.
• Separated: You just don't live together, perhaps you still have conjugal visits, perhaps you own a business together, perhaps you are just separated, but the other partner doesn't know it.
• Legally Separated: A bit clearer, lawyers involved, nothing settled, still messy.
• Divorced: Marriage is dissolved, but you may still have a lot of baggage, financial ties, shared parenting weekends, holidays with the ex-in-laws, restraining orders. How clean is a divorce? Only you would know about your own. You owe a chunk of the true story to someone you are considering dating so there are no false hopes, unspoken situations or to put their mind at ease because you actually managed an amicable divorce years ago, have no ties, are on friendly terms, no children, no ex-in-laws, no shared properly, no involvement with taxes, etc.

You can't be divorced and widowed from the same person. If you are divorced and they die, then the person you WERE married to died. Just that simple.

On demographics:

Where do you live? You don't have to give the address. If you are working for the FBI or in Witness Protection, you may have an excuse. Then, too, you shouldn't be looking for love through conventional means because you are destined for dishonesty. If you are embarrassed about where you live, you can either get over it and get comfortable with your situation, or come up with a plan to change it. Share the plan - at least you have a plan and are not lying.

I thank my friend, Kay Hunter for inviting me to contribute to her blog.

 

 

How Should You Dress for a 1st Date?

How Should You Dress for a 1^st Date?

Talk about making a 1^st impression, this is the king of occasions.  The other person is evaluating everything and diagnosing if that sought after “chemistry” exists.  The first factor being evaluated is - how you look.  After the 1^st impression, their personality, ability to connect with you, compatibility, and similar goals and values will all come into play.

Let’s start with the easiest part of the first impression, how you dress.  This is the easiest because it can be adjusted and modified so instantly.  This is much easier to adjust than a boring personality!  Let me just say, “I have seen it all!”  From men showing up in cut-off blue jean shorts with a white “wife beater” tank top for his shirt, to men so buttoned up they appeared stiff as a board.  Ladies commit the same crimes, usually associated with showing off way too much “of their goods”, or not playing fair and not letting the man see a glimpse of what they look like. 

First date attire should be selected based on where you are going and what you are doing.  If you are simply meeting for coffee, jeans and a nice shirt/top are just fine.  If you are going to dinner, this is the time to step up your selection and dress up more to show you value the time he/she is investing.  Second, select styles that flatter your particular body type.  Second, the clothing should show off your physique/figure without looking desperate (i.e. even if you have the best biceps in town, no tank tops!).  Third, your ensemble should reflect your personal style.  If you are very traditional, that should come across.  If you are very creative, this is not the time to try to look more conservative.  We want to make it easy for the other person to get to know us, and our clothing choices can assist with this goal! Finally, be well groomed.  This may be your only chance to make that 1^st impression.  I met a guy who said, “Oh if I knew I was meeting you I would have had my hair cut, it is way over do”.  Well, he knew he was meeting me (he did set up the date), and I couldn’t be attracted to the 80’s look.

You are ready! Take a deep breathe, arrive on time, and enjoy the journey!

 

Holidy Party Etiquette: Do's and Don'ts to Make You Shine This Season

Over the next 30 days you will most likely go to more social events than you do in the other eleven months of the year.  If you are like most people, you find yourself stewing over what to wear and how to act. There can be so much confusion over dress code definitions (i.e. "Business Social") to the right thing to do when it comes to gift buying - for everything from gifts for your boss to hostess gift dilemmas. Whether your event is business or personal, follow these tips to ensure your holidays are stress and faux pas free.  Enjoy the season!

With the cooler weather comes dry nails.

With the cooler weather come dry nails.  My nails were splitting, peeling, and the cuticles were dry.  I started using AVOPLEX nail and cuticle replenishing oil by OPI twice daily, and my nails became strong and my cuticles soft in two weeks. 

Great for men and women. I purchased my bottle at a beauty supply store for $12.

Another tip I learned from a friend is to use those small "anti-aging" creams that come with most cosmetic "gift packages."  Many of you have those around not wanting to throw them away, but not having enough dark circles and crows feet to use them up. This is the perfect solution, and they drop nicly into your purse or keep in your glove box in the car.

 

Cashmere - Is it worth it? YES!

How to Select, Care and Store your Sweaters

Fall is officially here and Winter is on its way. This means cooler days ahead.  With so many of us dressing "business casual", sweaters and cardigans are a great substitute for the structured jacket. Or, they are a great layering piece underneath a jacket.  A cashmere sweater is a great investment.  Not only are they stylish and beautiful, but they are temperature adaptable.  This means they keep you warm in the Fall and Winter and can keep you cool when the temperature gets a bit warmer. For those of us allergic to fibrous wools, cashmere typically does not produce the same reaction. Cashmere is considered one of the finest of all natural fabrics. Since a cashmere sweater can be expensive, it is important to understand how to select cashmere of the best quality for your money and how to care and store your pieces.

Getting Back Into the Work Force After Being Away for A Long Time

Complacency is not our friend. It's easy to get comfortable in a job, position, networking group, or even a relationship.  This “comfortable” feeling can steer us into not staying on top of current fashions, new ideas and technologies. Complacency can lead to a deteriation in our work quality and output, as we find ourselves stepping back.

If you are trying to get back into the workforce, changing careers, attracting a new customer base or seeking that promotion, your appearance and social skills will impact your ability to be successful in achieving these goals. The following advice also works great for first dates.

How to Take the Perfect Head Shot!

How to Take the Perfect Head Shot!

  I recently had a client who asked me to evaluate her company head shot. To her credit, she realized the head shot was not flattering or representing her Personal Brand. I looked at the pictures, and the issue was the photographer did not know how to pose her for the shot and she did not select the best outfit for the photo. She followed these tips below, and now has a photo that is a flattering and the perfect representation of her Personal Brand.

An important part of your Professional Presence is having a current and flattering head shot. Today, the people we want to do business with research us before a meeting or interview. When they look at your company or personal internet site, they see your picture and make a mental note. They instantly form an expectation and impression about you. When they meet you, if there is a disparity between you in person and the picture, this will create an unfavorable first impression. Do yourself a favor. Update your web site or press photo with a flattering picture ASAP. Follow these tips for a perfect shot every time!

Take the Test: Are you pushing your style too far, or not far enough?

In an effort to fit in, stay current, be professional, and not look too feminine, many women get lost in the series of contradictions as to how they should dress for business.  Some women's figures have changed substantially and they are not sure what style is ideal for their weight and for their profession.

Some women have suddenly had amazing figure makeovers by getting a fitness routine enabling them to be more attractive now than they were in their 30's.  As much as they want to show off their new physique, they have to be careful not to reveal too much. This sometimes boomerangs on them and they hide too much.

Those of us who have gained more curves are also trying not to draw attention to ourselves. In this, sometimes we make ourselves invisible.  This is our biggest mistake.  You are valuable and have to allow others to notice you before you even  speak. They don't need to notice your ample cleavage or toned upper thighs, but they should see a put-together woman of style and taste - and CONFIDENCE.

When you shroud yourself in the dowdy, you age yourself which immediately will devalue your worth - sad, but true.  Our own age is the perfect age, but we need to present it with style and dignity.  That doesn't mean buttoned up necklines and pinstriped pant suits.  We don't need to wear male clothes to show we are capable, powerful and successful.  We can do it beautifully as a stylish and feminine woman who dresses in tailored clothes that fit our figure.  You don't need to try to wear that "eek" one size smaller, nor the baggy size bigger.

Tests to see if you're pushing the envelope too far:

1. Can you lean over a desk without pouring your cleavage out to those on the other side?

2. Does your environment have stairs?  If someone is at the bottom and you are at the top, will they see more than you want them to when they look up your way?

3. Colors - do you feel alive with what you are wearing? Are you excited to tackle the day or do you put on your "uniform" and feel the dredge of the day already weighing on you?  It will show in your walk, your expressions and in your voice.  Brighten up or at least crisp it up a bit. Neutrals are fine, but don't melt into the sidewalk or walls.

4. Are you seams straining?  How about the buttons on the front of your blouse?  Can you open your arms wide to illustrate a point without the buttons pulling and holding onto their buttonholes for dear life?   If this happens to you, time to go up at least a size or forego buttons and find a new, more "flexible" style for your figure.

5. Do you find yourself tugging, adjusting, tucking?  STOP. Don't wear that outfit. Change before you head out the door. If you are distracted adjusting yourself, your audience, clients or staff will also be distracted watching your gyrations as you attempt to keep everything in its place.

6.  Shoes - would only a nun wear them or hospital worker.  Or, at the other end, would you be able to go out to a salsa club without changing shoes.  You may want to rethink your choice.

We can be successful, inspirational professionals AND also be attractive women.  We don't need to turn one off to be the other. 

 

Unsightly Injuries Can Make Everyone Uncomfortable

Until you have a temporary or permanent visible injury or condition, it is difficult to imagine what people who do go through every day.  Recently, I had two styes for almost four weeks on my eye.  Bad timing - I was booked with clients every day and didn't have a choice but to go to work and do my job.  As an image consultant, this threw a bit of a curve my way and for my clients. I hadn’t counted on feeling so “odd”.

What I did notice is that not only was I quite self-conscience of my appearance, but also very sensitive to the reactions of others.  In some cases, people showed repulsion at my appearance.  I would wear sunglasses when possible, but as the owner of my business, I was not able to just take three weeks off to heal.

This brought up a key question:

Do I bring up my eye situation to those I encounter immediately or simply act like it didn’t exist and move on for the consultation?