Kay Hunter - Imagine . . . The Possibilities

Don't Be Dumb With Your Smartphone: Etiquette Tips

It seems everyone has a smartphone these days, and they are helpful in so many ways. There are times and places, however, when turning your ringer off and tucking your phone away will go a long way toward polishing up your image.

Here are a few places and situations that cry out to be smartphone-free.

1. Business Meetings - in person AND video:

Sitting in a meeting while something is being presented and ideas are being shared, is not the time to be trying to beat your high score on Angry Birds. Also, place your phone on vibrate and OFF the table where you are sitting. A vibrating phone on a table can be every bit as disruptive as a loud ringtone.

If you are sitting in a virtual meeting, or a video chat, the same rules apply. Looking down at your smartphone so that the other participants only see the top of your head doesn't bode well for your business image. Stay focused, engaged, and fully present in the conversation, whether you are physically present or virtually present.

Note: Be mindful of the ringtone you choose as well. Gangsta rap or Donald Duck ringtones are likely not going to win you any points with your supervisors or co-workers.

2. Business Events - lunches, dinners, networking functions, and conferences:

These situations are more likely to involve public venues. Phone conversations, flashing notifications, and always-attached Bluetooth headsets convey to others that whoever is communicating with you on your smartphone is more important than the people communicating with you face to face.

3. Court:

If you are in court or in an attorney's office on official business, now is a good time to turn your phone completely off. The middle of a deposition is not the time to be distracted by social media.

4. Theater and Live Performances:

There is a well-known viral video of an audience member's phone ringing during a Broadway performance. The actors on stage made the owner of the cell phone part of the show by ad-libbing, thus embarrassing him for his ringtone faux pas. Would you want to be that person? Wait until intermission to check your voice mail.

Movie theaters, while obviously not live performances, are still locations where smartphones need to be tucked away. Be courteous to those around you. A bright light on your screen, a loud ringtone, and flashing or noisy text notifications all take away from other moviegoer's experiences. Take your call to the lobby if you need to make or take a phone call.

5. Weddings:

Weddings are a very special time for the bride and groom. They are joining their lives together and speaking very poignant words of commitment. It's a time when your smartphone ringer should be silenced. Also, using your phone's camera during the ceremony, in any way blocking the professional photographer, is the ulimate in rude. Save your wedding paparazzi pictures for the reception.

6. Automobiles:

Lastly, for your safety and the safety of those around you, pull over and stop if you want to take a phone call or respond to a text, play around with your playlist, or update your Facebook status. It can wait.

BBQ Etiquette for Hosting and Event and How to Eat Those Tricky Foods

Did you know that in Cuba, they don't pick up ANY food with their fingers?  Even French fries and chicken wings are eaten with a fork and knife.  This is a reminder to know your guests, and their culture so you can be respectful of their traditions.

But we are talking about the Fourth of July here - INDEPENDENCE DAY!  We Americans generally eat many of the holiday foods with our fingers. Fourth of July BBQ's and Company Picnics are just around the corner.  Already, when I hosted a BBQ already last weekend, I realized there are a lot of pitfalls that can occur at these events - both for the hosts and the guests! I found myself eaten up with mosquito bites and flinging my tomato across the table as I was removing the meat off my kabob skewer!  These etiquette tips will make your next event more successful and more fun!

You may not be the beauty contest winner, but at least you are honest.

by Janae St. John

Misrepresentation is a contract law concept. It means a false statement of fact made by one party to another party, which has the effect of inducing that party into the contract. For example, under certain circumstances, false statements or promises made by a seller of goods regarding the quality or nature of the product that the seller has may constitute misrepresentation.

Alright, it's a bit dramatic and ooooh so serious sounding. But, it remains that when you say you are one way, look a way, or have a certain marital status you are supposed to telling the whole truth.  Otherwise, you are committing a MISREPRESENTATION of yourself. Who could trust you from that point forward?

On your personal appearance:

Perhaps that's the test. If you meet someone you convinced that you were a 180 pound Adonis who has never been married or recently widowed; and upon seeing you for the first time realized you have a Dunlap muffin top belly, memories of hair on the sides of your temples and are still wearing a wedding ring - yet they don't head for the door - you may have met your match!

That's not me; don't even think of trying that. I'll head for the door, let you know you've wasted my time, were deceitful and need to get a grasp on reality. Of course we all share the best photos of ourselves. But, how about a photo of yourself from THIS year - ideally in the past six months?

I went out with a man once. Never knew he wore a toupee. I was young, naive and thought it was fun to go out with my dentist - wrong on so many levels.  We had a wonderful dinner at a local upscale steak house and went back to his place.  We were visiting in his living room when the glue started to drip by the side of his ear.  He must have been nervous as I was asking him about his family - or perhaps when I was telling him about mine.  Noticing his "discomfort" and sweating, I simply asked him, "why?" He had beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile (of course) and didn't need fake hair.  We didn't date again, primarily because I couldn't get over the smell of mouthwash whenever I was near him. But, he did change something after that date; he dumped the toupee and shaved his head. He looked so much better and he held himself straighter with more confidence. I feel that I helped in some small way. We are still friends.

On marital status:

Do you know the definition of widowed? How about divorced vs. separated? The phrase, "it's complicated" does not substitute. Call your status for what it is; you will save everyone’s time. We won't like you more after meeting you when you finally reveal that you are only separated and there is a nasty custody battle. Do you think the memory of the person we thought we'd be meeting will cloud our judgment so much that we'll look deep into your eyes and say it doesn't matter and that we understand, you poor baby...? Tell me you don't believe this. Stop reading, I can't help you.

• Widowed: You were married, the person died. End of definition.
• Separated: You just don't live together, perhaps you still have conjugal visits, perhaps you own a business together, perhaps you are just separated, but the other partner doesn't know it.
• Legally Separated: A bit clearer, lawyers involved, nothing settled, still messy.
• Divorced: Marriage is dissolved, but you may still have a lot of baggage, financial ties, shared parenting weekends, holidays with the ex-in-laws, restraining orders. How clean is a divorce? Only you would know about your own. You owe a chunk of the true story to someone you are considering dating so there are no false hopes, unspoken situations or to put their mind at ease because you actually managed an amicable divorce years ago, have no ties, are on friendly terms, no children, no ex-in-laws, no shared properly, no involvement with taxes, etc.

You can't be divorced and widowed from the same person. If you are divorced and they die, then the person you WERE married to died. Just that simple.

On demographics:

Where do you live? You don't have to give the address. If you are working for the FBI or in Witness Protection, you may have an excuse. Then, too, you shouldn't be looking for love through conventional means because you are destined for dishonesty. If you are embarrassed about where you live, you can either get over it and get comfortable with your situation, or come up with a plan to change it. Share the plan - at least you have a plan and are not lying.

I thank my friend, Kay Hunter for inviting me to contribute to her blog.

 

 

Most of us don't have this luxury.

Since my friends understand my profession and how important helping people with their image means to me, they send me those crazy emails filled with photos of people in Wal-Mart and other venues strutting their personal fashion sense.  I have to admit they do make me wince.  Although, when I really thought about it, these folks have made a choice and are able to go through life without having to worry about what anyone thinks of them.  Their first impressions can be that of defiance, poor taste, unflattering, but it seems to make them happy since they have chosen these looks.  For that, I applaud their independence.  I don't have that luxury, nor do my clients.  We are constantly wondering how we will come across to our next potential employer, client, manager, colleague, or blind date.

I'm posting these for you to decide what type of personal brand you prefer to share with the world. Do you want one like these fashion statements that shows you don’t think much of yourself. Or, would you choose to give yourself more dignity and respect by selecting to create a personal brand that is flattering, professional, and respectful of yourself.  The choice is yours . . .???

I'd prefer to not have my look passed around and lumped with this grouping. I think more of myself and desire a brighter future for myself. I hope you do too. 

Ahh the weather is changing. Time to put away the army boots and tank tops.

I'm all for letting your unique take on life show in your image - when appropriate.  This woman is at the Oregno Zoo, obviously not on anyone's clock.

This moment captured serves as a reminder.  Give it the Llama rug test.    I'll explain.  A friend of mine tells this story and I think of it every time one of those decision moments of, "Should I buy that? " and "Would that look good on me?" comes up.  Thank goodness these are rare occasions for me, but I watch others struggle as they shop with friends and are in one of those silly "I dare you" moods.  I want to walk up and tell them this story, because sometimes they need to hear this story.  I resist, but perhaps I'll be brave like the man in this story and save someone from the Llama Rug.

Office Party is not the time to let your full hidden personality show